Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Japan vs. India

I've been sick for the past week and have been taking antibiotics but it's taken me a long time to admit that I am actually ill. I hate being ill because I always tell myself that I am not actually hurting but really just lazy. I have been trudging along at work doubled over in pain, but a part of me still thinks that I should buck up and just work harder. For some reason, I always feel guilty that I am sick and today I have constantly apologized to my coworkers for being so slow and miserable to be around. Actually, I think they are no longer sympathetic but rather annoyed at my apologizing so much. I just feel like I'm letting them down. But I started thinking that, if I am in fact just lazy or beginning to dislike my job, my sickness is just a physical manifestation of my unhappiness. I hope not. I know that I have a great job and love my coworkers. Work is horribly mundane though and I'm longing for some excitement.

Once again, I think am beginning to feel the itch. I hate and love the itch all at the same time. The itch keeps me on my toes. The itch tells me lies though. It tells me that I don't want to be where I am that I would be happier somewhere else. I would be happy if I were on a plane heading to some country where I don't know anyone or the language. It says that I should settle down in a house of my own. It says I deserve to be paid more. It says basically I have to keep on moving.

I've been thinking (again) that I'm going to go to Japan instead of India. I have my vacation coming up and I found a great deal from Expedia leaving from Antigua to Tokyo for only $900. It's perfect to get away and I think I'm gonna go for my birthday. I would love to see a Geisha. And I've always wanted to go to Japan. Yup. That's what I'm going to do. Until I change my mind next week. Happy Birthday to me!!!

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